Kiva

Okay, so we do all this talking about how we want to invest in global initiatives... here is y'alls chance to back that up. Go to Kiva.org

Kiva is a microlending (microfinancing) site which connects people like us to people around the globe who are being proactive in making a living, supporting their families, and trying to break the cycle of poverty.

Here in the grand ole capitalistic society we live in, a monkey could start a business. I say that not to minimize the hard work involved in starting a business.... I am WELL aware of the degree to which "sweat equity" can involve more than just sweat... but I say that to make a point that there are so many resources available to the entrepreneurially-minded here in America. We have: "Start-ups for Dummies" and a slew of literature and step-by-step websites, venture capitalists, small business loans, angel investor groups, government grants, heck.... even friends/family.

But in alot of countries around the world, there are no resources to turn to. That's why we can play a critical role in people's lives who are fighting back underneath the weight of disadvantage and poverty. May we be God's hands to help lighten the load.

"Kiva lets you connect with and loan money to unique small businesses in the developing world. By choosing a business on Kiva.org, you can "sponsor a business" and help the world's working poor make great strides towards economic independence. Throughout the course of the loan (usually 6-12 months), you can receive email journal updates from the business you've sponsored. As loans are repaid, you get your loan money back."

"We partner with organizations all over the world
Kiva partners with existing microfinance institutions. In doing so, we gain access to outstanding entrepreneurs from impoverished communities world-wide. Our partners are experts in choosing qualified borrowers. That said, they are usually short on funds. Through Kiva.org, our partners upload their borrower profiles directly to the site so you can lend to them."

So go to the website: http://www.kiva.org/
Read the stories
Make a difference... it's amazing how far $50 goes in Azerbaijan.

It's HIS money... ask Him what He wants you to do with it? Just a gut feeling that you're not going to hear "hoard it & build a home in Highland Park". No, in fact, I surmise that the conversation might go a bit like this:

US: "Jesus... I love you SO much and want to follow your will for my life. What shall I do?"

Jesus: "You know the commandments: 'Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.'"

US: "All these I have kept."

Jesus: "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

US: silence... hmmm, self, whatever does He mean? Surely He can't mean sell my stock, my SUV..... lump.... swallow

See also: Luke 18:18-23 The Story of The Rich Young Ruler

It is the heart matter Jesus is getting to here... he reveals with poignancy the things that we tie our hearts to... which in turn tie us down. I see this not as a legalistic command... but more of a plea from Jesus for us to find life. He desperately wants to rescue us from the empty-ended pursuit of wealth, status, and material possession. I don't think He is saying those things are "bad" in and of themselves... they become "bad" when they are the end-all. Bad for us and bad for others. The more we cling to them the more we stockpile... only to take none of it to the grave. Give it away is Jesus' model and my prayer is that the mentality will increasingly govern my life. Hmmmm... stockpile and take none of it with us. OR give it away & have a stockpile of heavenly treasure awaiting.

I think I'll wait for the treasure.

i heart coffee

I sat down to chat with a friend regarding the coffee industry yesterday and we watched a piece of http://www.blackgoldmovie.com/ . His reply was "yeah, but you could start to question every industry... the jeans you wear for instance" and so on and so on. I was disappointed that the poignancy of the message seemed to bounce right off his heart.

Isn't that what we should be doing... questioning? Yeah, it can be a bit overwhelming when you start to actually think about your purchases before you make them (revolutionary concept), but as consumers of 1/4 of the world's wealth we have a choice: we can either continue to be a source of bitterness and resentment as the gap only widens b/w the rich & the poor and the poor become more aware of it (through modern technology) --OR-- we can conside what we have a blessing and use it to in turn bless others.

While you digest, I'm going to return to the topic of the coffee industry. If you, like most Americans, are guilty of sipping your daily $5 latte from the green monster without any regard as to the sweat, blood, and tears on the other side of the coffee inside... you might enjoy http://www.blackgoldmovie.com/. Heck, that may even be you in the movie.

I've seen this movie a dozen times and while I have refined where I spend my discretionary income... I still feel very helpless in alot of ways. As I stand on the edge of hopefully opening my own shop(s) in the near future, my heart is to connect with growers/ farmers all over the world. But where to start? http://www.growersfirst.org/ is a great initiative and they have been very helpful.

In any case... just questions tonight and really too much blabbering b/c I'm tired and need to be working on my business plan.

peace, love, and coffee beans

Shallow-een

Even our very own Dallas Morning News reports today that "movies and television are once again driving the sales of naughty Halloween costumes". The article states that a recent national survey reflects Dallas to be one of the top ten most sex-saturated cities. And halloween (or Shalloween, whichever you prefer) is just another excuse for the women [and men] of Dallas to justify their lack of discretion.

With the masses so willing & eager to spend ridiculous money for a one-day facade, it seems to me that Halloween is representative of a few cultural conclusions:
1. the definition of Sex and what is "sexy" has been polluted, minimized, demoralized, and exploited
2. we are an increasingly insecure society in search of anything to give us an identity (if just for a day)
3. Hollywood sets the standards by which people live their lives
4. the Devil has successfully blinded us to the reality of the battle we are in by convincing us that his existence is imaginary, fictional, and even comical

I could go on, but I really don't want to waste any more time on this over-rated "holiday". To all the ladies out there,remember that how you get a guy is how you are going to keep him. After tonight, he'll just move on to the next best costume.

be yourself. be real.

peace in Jesus

The Hunt Continues and Insanity Ensues

I had a bit of a melt-down last night. I think the combination of this 4-week lingering chest cold, debt that I desperately want to pay off, the ambiguity of my job situation, sleep depravity, wanting and at the same time not wanting to be swept off my feet in love, and the seemingly endless coffee dream pursuit all piled up in one tearful mess. I'm thankful for friends that are unafraid to approach the messiness with me & yet not leave me there with some pat answer of human consolation or short-lived philosophical phrase of the day... but instead point me always to the Cross of Christ which reminds me of Truth & doesn't demand that life is "happy" but instead takes life as it is and provides a ray of hope amidst the mess. Praise.

The Sport of Job Hunting

I'm beginning to understand why they call it "job hunting." It's a very accurate term for all the waiting and watching for that seemingly one shot. But what I am beginning to discover is that as I am disciplined to pursue the various avenues before me, God is so good to open and close doors as He sees fit. It's when I take things into my own hands and try to force timing or force an opportunity or even force what I think is the "best fit" for me, that I end up frustrated in this silly sport.

Proverbs 16:9 says, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." How comforting to know that as I am diligent to seek a job, the Lord is guiding me to where I will best be used and grown. And how thankful I am that the One who knows me better than I will ever know myself is the One who is guiding where my next step falls. But only in trusting in His provision do I get to experience the blessedness of it. And that is something I fight. My tendency is to see this job transition as a problem to solve rather than a reason to draw close my Lord. And each day I wake up and face the fears of this transition I have a choice: to trust in myself and "conquer" in my own strength -OR- to trust in my God and experience His strength. The former brings only frustration b/c all plans I make are sure to fail or dissappoint when my hope is in them... leaving me weak. The latter brings only peace amidst circumstance b/c even if my plans fail, my hope is in the Lord's provision... which leaves me strong to continue to fight the battle at hand.

Today I choose to trust Him. Tomorrow might be another battle of wills, but at least for this moment I say that I want what He wants and am willing to wait for that.

I think something the Lord is ever so gently showing me right now is that He doesn't want me to settle for what is comfortable and easy. There are a few job opportunities that I could snag up b/c the pay is decent and they are immediate. But I feel like the Lord is saying "wait". Wait for what, I wonder? Maybe He wants me to dive back into my heart... to where my desires, passions, and giftings are, and see what I come up with. I want to be where I will experience growth and where I will be challenged. Where is that place? Is it a whole new field that I haven't even considered?

My prayer for this season is that the Lord would unravel the creative side of me that I know is there but that I am often fearful to explore. Will my new job help me to discover these creative parts of me? I don't know but I hope so.

to write or not to write

At the risk of sounding repetitive, it has been far too long since I last posted. A true reflection that busyness has slowly crept in again and stolen the precious moments I spend writing. When will I make time for writing, I ask myself? Maybe once I'm old and retired and perhaps a bit less of a procrastinator. It's a sad thought, for I dearly love to write but somehow minutes turn into days and days into weeks and weeks into months, and before you know it I've lost all inspiration to write.

I heard a professional writer once say that "you can't wait for the moments of inspiration, you just have to write." There will be times when the writing flows easily when the keyboard becomes a piano of melody as your fingers dance across the keys. And then there are times (probably more frequent than the former) when the writing seems a bit less harmonious and the sounds coming from your keyboard resemble two-fingered "chopsticks". Which is more of where I find myself today.

All of that to say, I just need to suck it up and write. Not when I feel like it, but b/c I enjoy writing and on some occasions, I think I'm actually pretty decent at it. So the lesson here (preaching to myself) is that sometimes in order for something inspired to triumph, I have to forge through the uninspired. Much like in daily life. Sometimes, most of the time, in order for God's Love to be felt in my heart, I must first forge through the routine of today with faith & belief held close. I believe though I do not see... I have faith though I do not always feel. And the incredible happens on occasion when head and heart align and I FEEL all that I know to be true. And the hope I have is that one day all will be perfectly aligned... never again disjointed by this sin-stained earth suit I wear. Ah, I can't wait for that day!

Singleness Defined

It's been far too long since I've written, which sadly is a reflection of poor priorities lately on my part. Writing, for me, is such a litmus test of where my heart is. When I'm dealing with stuff in my own strength, writing ceases in my life. When I'm trusting the Lord in the season of life I find myself in, my writing amplifies. One can conclude, therefore, that my trust lately has been more centered around my narrow human understanding & emotional instability than on my Heavenly Father who's plans for me are Good & consistent despite my inability to believe this in the midst of circumstances that, to me, seem adverse to trusting Him.

Amongst other things I find myself wrestling with right now, I'd have to say that singleness is at the top of the list somewhere... some days #3 on the list, some days #1.... but it usually always makes at least the Top 10.

In order to express with accuracy where I am at, I'm going to allow the words of someone much more eloquent than I to speak to us here. Her synopsis of The Christian Single Life is not only hilarious but so right on... I could not have said it better. Paige Benton expresses so well the conclusions I have come to in my own life:

Singled Out by God for Good. by Paige Benton
"Had I any vague premonition of my present plight when I was six, I would have demanded that Stephen Herbison (incontestably the catch of the second grade) put his marriage proposal into writing and have it notarized. I do want this piece to be practical, so to all you first-graders: Carpe Diem.
Over the past several years I have perfected the artistry of escape regarding any singles functions-cookouts, conferences, Sunday school classes, and my personal favorite, putt-putt. My avoidance mechanism is triggered not so much by a lack of patience with such activities as it is by a lack of stomach for the pervasive attitudes. Thoreau insists that most men lead lives of quiet desperation; I insist that many singles lead lives of loud aggravation. Being immersed in singles can be like finding yourself in the midst of "The Whiners" of 1980's Saturday Night Live - it gives a whole new meaning to "pity party."
Much has been written in Christian circles about singleness. The objective is usually either to chide the married population for their misunderstanding and segregationism or to empathize with the unmarried population as they bear the cross of "Plan B" for the Christian life, bolstered only by the consolation prizes of innumerable sermons and 1 Corinthians 7 and the fact that you can cut your toenails in bed. Yet singles, like all believers, need scriptural critique and instruction seasoned by sober grace, not condolences and putt-putt accompanied with pious platitudes.
John Calvin’s secret to sanctification is the interaction of the knowledge of God and knowledge of self. Singles, like all other sinners, typically dismiss the first element of the formula, and therein lies the root of all identity crises. It is not that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but that life has no tragedy like our God ignored. Every problem is a theological problem, and the habitual discontent of us singles is no exception.
Can God be any less good to me on the average Tuesday morning than he was on that monumental Friday afternoon when he hung on a cross in my place? The answer is a resounding NO. God will not be less good to me tomorrow either, because God cannot be less good to me. His goodness is not the effect of his disposition but the essence of His person – not an attitude but an attribute.
I long to be married. My younger sister got married two months ago. She now has an adoring husband, a beautiful home, a whirlpool bathtub, and all-new Corningware. Is God being any less good to me than He is to her? The answer is a resounding NO. God will not be less good to me because God cannot be less good to me. It is a cosmic impossibility for God to shortchange any of His children. God can no more live in me apart from the perfect fullness of His goodness and grace than I can live in Nashville and not be white. If He fluctuated one quark in His goodness, He would cease to be God.
Warped theology is at the heart of attempts to “explain” singleness:
“As soon as you’re satisfied with God alone, He’ll bring someone special into your life” – as though God’s blessings are ever earned by our contentment
“You’re too picky” – as though God is frustrated by our fickle whims and needs broader parameters in which to work
“As a single you can commit yourself wholeheartedly to the Lord’s work” – as though God requires emotional martyrs to do His work, of which marriage must be no part.
“Before you can marry someone wonderful, the Lord has to make you someone wonderful” – as though God grants marriage as a second blessing to the satisfactorily sanctified
Accepting singleness, whether temporary or permanent, does not hinge on speculation about answers God has not given to our list of whys, but rather on celebration of the life He has given. I am not single because I am too spiritually unstable to possibly deserve a husband, nor because I am too spiritually mature to possibly need one. I am single because God is so abundantly good to me, because this is His best for me. It is a cosmic impossibility that anything could be better for me right now than being single. The psalmists confirm that I should not want, I shall not want, because no good thing will God withhold from me.
Such knowledge of God must transform subsequent knowledge of self – theological readjustment is always the catalyst for renewed self-awareness. This keeps identity right-side-up with nouns and modifiers in their correct place. Am I a Christian single or am I a single Christian? The discrepancy in grammatical construction may be somewhat subtle, but the difference in mindset is profound. Which word is determinative and which is descriptive? You see, we singles are chronic amnesiacs – we forget who we are, we forget whose we are. I am a single Christian. My identity is not found in my marital status but in my redemptive status. I’m one of the “haves,” not one of the “have-nots.”
Have you ever wondered at what age one is officially single? Perhaps a sliding scale is in order: 38 for a Wall Street tycoon; 21 for a Mississippi sorority girl; 14 for a Zulu princess; and five years older than I am for me. It is a relevant question because at some point we see ourselves as “single,” and that point is a place of greater danger than despair. Singleness can be a mere euphemism for self-absorption: now is the “you time.” No wife to support? No husband to pamper? Well then, by all means join three different golf courses, get a weekly pedicure, raise emus, subscribe to People.
Singleness is never carte blanche for selfishness. A spouse is not a sufficient countermeasure for self. The gospel is the only antidote for egocentricity. Christ did not come simply to save us from our sins, He came to save us from ourselves. And He most often rescues us from us through relationships, all kinds of relationships. “Are you seeing anyone special?” a young matron in my home church asked patronizingly. “Sure,” I smiled. “I see you and you’re special.”
OK, my sentiment was a little less than kind, but the message is true. To be single is not to be alone. If someone asks if you are in a relationship right now, your immediate response should be that you are in dozens. Our range of relational options is not limited to getting married or to living in the sound-proof, isolated booth of Miss America pageants. Christian growth mandates relational richness.
The only time folks talk about human covenants is in premarital counseling. How anemic. If our God is a covenantal God, than all of our relationships are covenantal. The gospel is not about how much I love God (I typically love Him very little); it is about how much God loves me. My relationships are not about how much friends should love me, they are about how much I get to love them. No single should ever expect relational impoverishment by virtue of being single. We should covenant to love people – to initiate, to serve, to commit.
Many of my Vanderbilt girls have been reading Lady in Waiting, a popular book for Christian women struggling with singleness. That’s all fine and dandy, but what about a subtitle: And Meanwhile, Lady, Get Working. It is a cosmic impossibility for God to require less of me in my relationships than He does of the mother of four whose office is next door. Obedience knows no ages or stages.
Let’s face it: singleness is not an inherently inferior state of affairs. If it were, heaven would be inferior to this world for the majority of Christians.
But I want to be married. I pray to that end every day. I may meet someone and walk down the aisle in the next couple years because God is so good to me. I may never have another date and die an old maid at 93 because God is so good to me. Not my will but His be done. Until then I am claiming as my theme verse, “If any man would come after me, let him…”