not a fan of me

[two weeks ago real time]

i spent the day attempting to avoid myself....that's hard to do & requires alot of caffeine. i think i began an addiction to Monster energy drinks today. i consumed two. the back of the can says not to consume more than 3 a day. scary. i don't normally consume things that have words i can't pronounce on the nutrition label.

i filled my time with work, busyness, and distraction... all with the hopes of not facing the realities going on in my heart. my efforts were in vain and as i face the end of another day, i'm saddened by my lack of intimacy with my Savior & my trust in myself to cope with life. oh, how much time i waste and how easily my heart is hardened when i cope with life rather than deal with it.

so now, exhausted by this hamster wheel of my own creation, i finally give up... and find that in surrendering my avoidance tactics i at last find peace. the unrest results from my own striving... but rest comes when i'm finally willing to come to that place where i stop trying to "fix" myself.

i don't have to avoid... i can deal.... and Romans 8 reminds me how.

"With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death. God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn't deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. The law code, weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that.
The law always ended up being used as a Band-Aid on sin instead of a deep healing of it. And now what the law code asked for but we couldn't deliver is accomplished as we, instead of redoubling our own efforts, simply embrace what the Spirit is doing in us. Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life." -The Message

i can only life my hands in praise and repentence to You, Father. you did it... its done. i don't have to run. make my view of me, your view of me. i offer You rubbish to say "i love you"

I Heart Jesus... and Business

Since college I think the faint question I've been wrestling with is "how do I combine business and missions?" That faint question has evolved into a loud vision which the Lord has orchestrated one piece at a time. And I am slowly learning to trust Him with the plans for my life and that He somehow is going to unite my heart for Jesus, my passion for business, and my love of the coffee industry into one big beautiful mess.

This is an excerpt from the CAM International website. It explains with more clarity what I am hoping to do in the coffee world:

"Entrepreneurialism, kingdom business, microenterprise development, Great Commission companies, missional corporations... No matter what name you give it, doing business as mission is a movement gaining momentum worldwide. Business men and women, field missionaries with business mindsets, and national leaders with a foot in the business world are increasingly involved in economic development by creating jobs through businesses. In some cases large scale ventures are launched, with potential to influence entire cities and regions."

The traditionally black and white division between ministry as sacred and business as secular has intentionally, blurring lines. Mike Baer, in his book Business as Mission, challenges the reader to “imagine what could happen if every Christian businessperson recognized that God had a purpose for their company greater than profit, employment, or customer satisfaction. Imagine if the vast number of believing business owners and operators turned their companies over to God to use for His glory. Imagine the power and joy of integrating business and faith for God’s kingdom. Think of the financial, technological, and human resources that would come into play. Think of the ways in which entire societies could be transformed for Christ.”

In God is at Work, Ken Eldred defines kingdom business as a “for-profit venture designed to facilitate God’s transformation of people and nations.” He also defines the key players in this movement as kingdom business professionals, or individuals who are “authentic, skilled business people who use their talents to further the worldwide mission of the Church through kingdom business.”

The Business as Mission strategy not only provides new channels for recruitment and the potential expansion of ministries. It also helps develop infrastructure (especially in economically poor Central America) as part of a supportive foundation upon which we can more easily accomplish global vision (i.e. training, empowering, and sending). Business as Mission can also be a supportive part of holistic ministry and outreach, which is not only biblical, but also has strong potential to enhance the ongoing viability and sustainability of continued involvement in CAM's historic fields.

Here are just some of the many available resources to learn more about the growing Business as Mission movement:
· Business as Mission, by Mike Baer. YWAM Publishing, 2006.
· God is at Work, by Ken Eldred. Regal Books, 2005.
· Great Commission Companies, by Steve Rundle and Tom Steffen. IVP, 2003.
· http://www.businessasmission.blogspot.com/, a B.A.M. resource blog
· www.kingdomcatalyst.org, an October 2007 B.A.M. conference in North Texas