The Holiday Dichotomy

What is it about the Holiday season that blurs the line between hope and despair? I think the Holidays remind us of some greater good, some bigger story, of which we all long to be a part. There is a sense of belonging that takes place during the holiday season because everyone around us is experiencing it too. Our normal routine run to the neighborhood coffee shop up the street for our morning latte ends with the Barista bidding us well with "have a great holiday." There is a buzz in the air that's celebrated in displays of lights on rooftops and window sill greetings. But this corporate sense of belonging quickly fades to feelings of isolation when we return home to an empty house with latte in hand. Being with our families presents the same incongruities. We fill up houses with familiar strangers and the depression mounts. The principle of feeling most alone in a crowded room applies here. The holidays are filled with contradictions which surface the deeper questions we have in life and leave us wondering how to resolve the merriment we’re suppose to feel with the reality of what we actually feel.

We sing about "Joy to the World" and face the realities of yet another year of dysfunctional conversations/interactions over turkey and eggnog, yet another year of unrequited love, and yet another year of resolutions to replace the ones that failed from last New Year’s Eve. How do we reconcile the joy of this season with the realities we face? How can we enJOY our time with the familiar faces we call family? And even beyond that, how can we begin to resolve the deeper questions of purpose which the holidays have a way surfacing?

I propose gratitude is the answer. Gratitude is what saves us from lives centered on accumulation and frees us to live lives centered on giving. Until our hearts are filled with gratitude and contentment, our lives will be defined by incessant and unmet desires that leave us incapable of truly engaging in the present. Gratitude keeps us from living in a world of fantasy but instead allows us to deal with life as it is, not as we would have it. But a new morning dawns along with the day’s To-Do list and we hurriedly rush out the door inundated already with thoughts of what all has to get done. Somewhere between OUR agenda for the day and the holiday-laden billboards we pass on our way, with perfectly air-brushed bodies sipping on eggnog (which doesn’t seem to pose any threat to their metabolisms) and perfectly marketed products appealing to our constant thirst for more, any sense of gratitude is lost. It’s quickly replaced by a sense of discontent and striving and the joy and contentedness of lives as blessed as ours somehow get overlooked and buried beneath a pile of receipts and shopping bags.
Then a nationally declared holiday rolls around forcing us to take a day (if that) to reflect on all we have to be thankful for. Families hold hands for a brief moment and say prayers of thankfulness for blessings and circumstances that are “better off” than most of the world. And while yes it is important to remember the “less fortunate”, gratitude is not a matter of comparison. We are not to be thankful merely because of what we have versus what “they” don’t. Genuine gratitude is not the result of circumstance which makes it available to all people no matter their social status, ethnicity, education level, life stage, or age. Genuine gratitude is a heart attitude rooted in purpose that transcends all boundaries and is often experienced more by those who have the least in a materialistic sense. In my travels overseas I have experienced first-hand the unrestricted nature of gratitude—from the lively hearts of Chinese missionaries who face daily persecution to the generous lives of Mexican church clergy living in shacks yet giving of their income to better their societies.

And like these men and women who personify gratitude, as purpose in our lives begins to fade the discontentment our lives begin to look more like theirs and less like the cultural norm. Purpose is the driving force of gratitude and keeps us from searching for life in things that will only leave us empty. Purpose is what allows us to reconcile the incongruities of the holidays and in life. Purpose is what allows us to engage with our dysfunctional families without spiraling into depression.

I experienced the blessedness of living with purpose most clearly last New Year.
I stood by in the snow waving goodbye as the charter bus rolled away taking with it the 60 high school students I had just spent the week with in Breckenridge, CO. I must admit that I was relieved a little that I would be hopping on a plane ALONE in a couple of days. But on return to the condo we had been staying in, still containing teenage remnants, I was a little saddened by their sudden absence. Just the night before we celebrated the New Year with worship, sharing our hearts, praying for each other, and later on a little dance party and ice cream! No champagne, no glamour, no midnight kiss, no alcohol-dependent “fun”… but yet, one of the best New Years’ Eves I have ever had! I didn’t wake up the next morning with regret or a headache, but instead with such a full heart. The week spent serving students and living life beside them… encouraging, exhorting, loving, correcting, disciplining, and leading… reminded me once again of the life and abundance that results from the choice to die to ourselves and live with purpose. The momentary pleasure of the world pales in comparison to the lasting richness I experienced that week. And it’s that purpose I want to hang on to each day. It’s a purpose that I find rooted in the grace of Jesus Christ.

HOLIDAYS 2006

I wrote this during the holidays this year. Just alot of observation of the madenning busyness we all get caught up in and so easily allow to distract us from the bigger story being told. A friend of mine is a graphic artist and did a really cool flyer for a church that depicted exactly what I'm trying to communicate (The caption in the picture says 'And So This Is Christmas.')

Holidays 2006


With the coming of Thanksgiving this year I was reminded of all I have to be thankful for. As a Daughter of the King, every day presents another opportunity for gratitude… if just for the “simple” fact of salvation. But a new morning comes along with the day’s To-Do list and I hurriedly rush out the door inundated already with thoughts of what all has to get done. Somewhere between MY agenda for the day and the holiday-laden billboards I pass on my way, with perfectly air-brushed bodies sipping on egg-nog (which doesn’t seem to pose any threat to their metabolisms) and perfectly marketed products appealing to our constant thirst for more, any sense of gratitude is lost. It’s quickly replaced by a sense of discontent and striving and the joy and contentedness of a life as blessed as mine somehow gets overlooked and buried beneath a pile of receipts.

I think it was C.S. Lewis that said the mark of a Christian should be gratitude. But how easily the light of gratitude in our lives is snuffed out when the focus shifts from all we have in Christ to all the world assures us we are still lacking. It happens so easily… any brief moment of flipping through channels or breezing past the grocery store magazine rack poses as a threat to my contentedness in Christ. And even if the day began centered on Truth, too often it ends with the world having the final voice. A voice that beckons away from the Well of Life and leaves us wandering in this desert-place. But each mirage we chase on the horizon leads us further away from the only Place of living water. The result is a parched throat, a striving heart, and a life void of gratitude.

Then a nationally declared holiday rolls around-- forcing us to take a day (if that) to reflect on all we have to be thankful for. Families hold hands for a brief moment and say prayers of thankfulness for blessings and circumstances that are “better off” than most of the world. And while yes it is important to remember the “less fortunate”, gratitude is not a matter of comparison. We are not to be thankful merely because of what we have vs. what “they” don’t. Genuine gratitude is NOT the result of circumstance which makes it available to all people no matter their social status, ethnicity, education level, life stage, or age. Since gratitude springs forth in our lives as we live intimately with God through His Son, it is a heart attitude that transcends all boundaries. Which means that a little boy without shoes living in a war-torn shack in Sudan can have just as much gratitude, often more, manifested in his life as me, a 25 year old entrepreneur with 20 pairs of shoes in the closet of my three-bedroom house in Dallas, TX. Another piece of evidence proving the validity of Christianity!!! Christianity is just as true in war-torn Sudan as it is in the thriving metropolis of Dallas, TX. Christ is enough… He took it all… for EVERYONE! I say this not to minimize the poorer quality of life experienced around the world, but instead to lift up the Cross above the pain. And as we avail our hearts more to the Lord, He grows in us a heart for others rather than a pity for them.

Christmas then rolls around and we celebrate the birth of our Savior. Malls become frenzied disaster zones. Everything that could possibly be candy-coated in green and red makes its way into our guts along with the other ridiculous amount of food we consume. People crowd into buildings of stained glass windows to pay their twice-a-year homage. And Santa comes to town… with LOTS of presents. Sounds like a celebration of Christ to me!! Oh, how I long for my life to reflect a true celebration … not just when lights go up on houses but every moment of every day. Not just on mountain tops… but when I find myself in valleys. Not just when blessings come but when trials find us. Not just when plans fall into place but on the days when all we want to do is crawl back in bed and start over. Not just when we ladies feel good about our bodies but even when the mirror portrays an image we aren’t happy with. Not just in marriage but in singleness (and vice versa). Oh, that Christmas would just be another opportunity to express what I’ve celebrated all year long!

And then Christmas bleeds right into New Year, which is where I find myself today. The charter bus rolled away early this morning taking with it the 60 high school students I just spent the week with here in Breckenridge, CO. I stood by in the snow waving goodbye and relieved a little that I will be hopping on a plane ALONE in a couple of days. But on return to the condo we’ve been staying in, still containing teenage remnants, I am a little saddened by their sudden absence. Just last night we celebrated the New Year with worship, sharing our hearts, praying for eachother, and later on a little dance party and ice cream! No champagne, no glamour, no midnight kiss, no alcohol-dependent “fun”… but yet, one of the best New Years’ Eves I have ever had! I didn’t wake up today with regret or a headache, but instead with such a full heart. This past week spent serving students and living life beside them… encouraging, exhorting, loving, correcting, disciplining, and leading… has reminded me once again of the Life and Abundance that results from the choice to die to ourselves. The momentary pleasure of the world pales in comparison to the lasting richness I’ve experienced in this last week.

So as I sit here in Breckenridge, CO on New Years Day reflecting on all this… in deep thought over my hazelnut cappuccino and staring out the window at the snow-covered Creation surrounding me… I am convicted and encouraged by my own words. Convicted to head into 2007 increasingly availing more of my heart to the only One worthy of it. And encouraged that as I do, I can lean on timeless truth and greet God’s new mercies each day. OH, that 2007 would be a year characterized by: joy despite circumstance, rest amidst chaos, peace within surrounding busyness, character over comfort, the choice to struggle well, and the fragrance of gratitude to follow wherever my feet may tread and whoever my path may cross with this upcoming year.

May gratitude mark our 2007… for His glory and our good!


“ He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” - Jim Elliot

“ An infinite God can give all of Himself to each of His children. He does not distribute Himself that each may have a part, but to each one He gives all of Himself as fully as if there were no others.” - A.W. Tozer

“ Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.” - C.S. Lewis

“ No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it. So, my very dear friends, when you see people reducing God to something they can use or control, get out of their company as fast as you can.” - 1 Cor 10:13-14

“God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis

“…you’ll never love if you protect yourself…” - The Daylights

" If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” - C.S. Lewis