Sunday, June 1, 2008

beloved

The World wants to give me a false confidence,
Hissing Lies of self-worth wrapped in possession, titles, and appearance.
Slithering before my eyes in plain view.
They reduce what I have to offer down to mere objects or niceness.
When I believe them, what I give to others is an Imposter of myself,
Offering only what parts of me I believe are “worthy” and constantly feeling insecure about the rest.
It’s a sick cycle that I’ve been freed of and still I return to it

Something in this death suit I wear doesn’t take You at Your Word.
And the fruit looks so delicious…so I take a bite.
But sweetness turns to bitterness and I find myself hiding.
I make provision for myself with the fig leaves of my choice,
Anesthetizing my shame.
Until Grace appears on the scene,
And innocent blood clothes the deepest parts of me.
You remind me of who I am.
Beloved.

I sheepishly begin to take You at Your Word.
And the mystery of a life redeemed,
Begins to leave a legacy of love in the lives of others.
I offer everything now, not just bits and pieces that satisfy a culture’s incessant craving for more.
I am called “worthy” (and not by merit) and so I am free now to fully love.
No more picking and choosing the parts of me that are presentable.
No more restraint out of fear or insecurity.
No more comparison-induced isolation.
No more lies.
Only Truth that tells me I have much to give because I have been given much.

Which will I believe today?



"Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. God's love for you and His choice of you constitute your worth. Accept that, and let it become the most important thing in your life." (From Abba's Child by Brennan Manning)

1 comment:

Summer Dawn said...

i love you bowen.
i can relate to and feel you right where you are.
i can always count on honesty and truth with you. says so much about you and your heart. and only one of the many things that makes you stand out in my book.
thanks for blessing me today with truth.