The Sport of Job Hunting

I'm beginning to understand why they call it "job hunting." It's a very accurate term for all the waiting and watching for that seemingly one shot. But what I am beginning to discover is that as I am disciplined to pursue the various avenues before me, God is so good to open and close doors as He sees fit. It's when I take things into my own hands and try to force timing or force an opportunity or even force what I think is the "best fit" for me, that I end up frustrated in this silly sport.

Proverbs 16:9 says, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." How comforting to know that as I am diligent to seek a job, the Lord is guiding me to where I will best be used and grown. And how thankful I am that the One who knows me better than I will ever know myself is the One who is guiding where my next step falls. But only in trusting in His provision do I get to experience the blessedness of it. And that is something I fight. My tendency is to see this job transition as a problem to solve rather than a reason to draw close my Lord. And each day I wake up and face the fears of this transition I have a choice: to trust in myself and "conquer" in my own strength -OR- to trust in my God and experience His strength. The former brings only frustration b/c all plans I make are sure to fail or dissappoint when my hope is in them... leaving me weak. The latter brings only peace amidst circumstance b/c even if my plans fail, my hope is in the Lord's provision... which leaves me strong to continue to fight the battle at hand.

Today I choose to trust Him. Tomorrow might be another battle of wills, but at least for this moment I say that I want what He wants and am willing to wait for that.

I think something the Lord is ever so gently showing me right now is that He doesn't want me to settle for what is comfortable and easy. There are a few job opportunities that I could snag up b/c the pay is decent and they are immediate. But I feel like the Lord is saying "wait". Wait for what, I wonder? Maybe He wants me to dive back into my heart... to where my desires, passions, and giftings are, and see what I come up with. I want to be where I will experience growth and where I will be challenged. Where is that place? Is it a whole new field that I haven't even considered?

My prayer for this season is that the Lord would unravel the creative side of me that I know is there but that I am often fearful to explore. Will my new job help me to discover these creative parts of me? I don't know but I hope so.