Needy Pants

I’ve gotten a lot of ware out of this term lately, so I have to thank my friend Brandy who introduced me to it. I’ve coined this season of my life my “Needy Pants Season” b/c I feel raw, exposed, and for lack of a better word, needy. The Lord is asking me to move closer and closer to the refining fire, and my life is beginning to look a little less like a cozy campfire and a little more like a burning firestorm. I have come to a fork in the road where the days of remaining a safe distance from the refining fires of Love seem less and less appealing. Instead, the glowing embers have captivated my gaze and my heart is strangely drawn towards them. I want to know that Love fully, and I know that means its going to hurt a little…sometimes alot. I don’t want to stay warm and safe anymore, I’m called to be hot or cold. For so many years, my life has benefited from the heat of these flames but I wouldn’t dare come close and experience them in their fullness. It seemed too risky, and frankly I kind of enjoyed the view from where I sat. I could admire the radiant Light and even point other people in its direction; I could benefit from the heat omitted and join the ranks of like-minded individuals who settle comfortably in mediocrity. My flesh convinced me to shrink back each time I began to feel the heat of sanctification in the past, but I don’t want to shrink back this time. I want to stand here, with my whole desire…in the middle of this forest fire… ‘til there’s nothing left to show… and new life begins to grow (I stole that from Nichole Nordmeman’s “Burnin”).