I’ve gotten a lot of ware out of this term lately, so I have to thank my friend Brandy who introduced me to it. I’ve coined this season of my life my “Needy Pants Season” b/c I feel raw, exposed, and for lack of a better word, needy. The Lord is asking me to move closer and closer to the refining fire, and my life is beginning to look a little less like a cozy campfire and a little more like a burning firestorm. I have come to a fork in the road where the days of remaining a safe distance from the refining fires of Love seem less and less appealing. Instead, the glowing embers have captivated my gaze and my heart is strangely drawn towards them. I want to know that Love fully, and I know that means its going to hurt a little…sometimes alot. I don’t want to stay warm and safe anymore, I’m called to be hot or cold. For so many years, my life has benefited from the heat of these flames but I wouldn’t dare come close and experience them in their fullness. It seemed too risky, and frankly I kind of enjoyed the view from where I sat. I could admire the radiant Light and even point other people in its direction; I could benefit from the heat omitted and join the ranks of like-minded individuals who settle comfortably in mediocrity. My flesh convinced me to shrink back each time I began to feel the heat of sanctification in the past, but I don’t want to shrink back this time. I want to stand here, with my whole desire…in the middle of this forest fire… ‘til there’s nothing left to show… and new life begins to grow (I stole that from Nichole Nordmeman’s “Burnin”).
Thursday, February 21, 2008
that's HOT
although I must admit I have succomb to adding this Paris Hilton-inspired buzz term into my vernacular, the cultural implication of it still urks me.
not really the saying itself, but just what it represents... we are a society obsessed with physical attractiveness...to the degree that inanimate objects are labeled "hot". But don't take my word for it, numbers speak louder than I ever could:
"Each year, billions of dollars are spent in the quest to come just a bit closer to our culture's ideal beauty: $20 billion on cosmetics; $2 billion on hair products; $74 billion on diet foods." [Wanting To Be Her, by Michelle Graham]
And not to mention the industry that is alive and thriving b/c women want a more permanent "fix" to their "flaws"... Plastic Surgery. Melanie Griffith has spent over $50,000 on plastic surgery; Baywatch legend Pamela Anderson admits to having had multiple liposuctions & enlarging her breasts.
Oh, and did I mention that the average North American woman is 5 foot 3 inches tall and weighs 152 pounds. The average model is 5 foot 9 inches and weighs 110 pounds. In the past three decades, most Miss America winners had a body mass index that lies within the range of malnutrition. Explain that to the kids in Sudan, unwillingly suffering from malnutrition. I can just picture me sitting in the dirt with a skinny little African girl:
ME: "yeah, back home there are some people who choose to starve themselves so that they look skinnier"
Little African Girl: "but don't they have food they can eat?"
ME: "yes, but they care more about what their body looks like than the food."
Little African Girl: "I wish I could have the food that they have but don't want"
ME: "I wish you could too"
Tears.
It's sick really.
And what really makes me sick is the driving force with which we are running towards this mirage on the horizon. We compare ourselves to eachother while the rest of the world starves. It's estimated by the United Nations Development Program that basic health and nutritional needs of the world's poorest people could be met for an additional $13 billion a year. American and Europeon pet lovers spend more than that each year on pet food!!!
I was talking with some guy friends tonight and my heart left feeling heavy that the effects of our culture can even be felt in what solid, Christian men are looking for in someone that they date. "Integrity, rooted in her faith... oh and HOT". Awesome... really reinforces to us women where true value lies. If "hot" is among one of the top 3 values for most Christian men, what message does that communicate to us ladies? To me it says "Jesus PLUS I need to strive toward looking good on the outside." Call me Crazy, but shouldn't the message just be "Jesus"?
I understand the role of being attracted to your future mate and I think that has its place, but attractiveness rooted solely in some outward persona which has diminishing returns seems to weigh alot more heavily than it should if we are to be a people "in the world but not of it". In most of my interactions with Christian men, though their pursuits are a little more redeemed, I still see the quest for a trophy wife.
Just as we've bought the lies our society feeds us as women, so also, our brothers have bought the lies about beauty and perpetuate them in their apathy to be set apart in what they value in women. Flesh drives them just as much as it drives men who have not been redeemed by the blood of our Savior... it's just that now its spiritualized & maybe even tampered a bit.
In NO way am I trying to shift the responsibility of this on our Christian brothers... but I do think that they play a vital role in our freedom from the lie that we've bought: "physical beauty equals happiness". Dream with me for a moment... if our Christian brothers were to unite and encourage us more intentionally in the areas of integrity, character, fruits of the Spirit, matters of the heart, ambition, etc. .... I think it would have a huge impact on us. Even more than they realized.
If the values of our Christian brothers could be felt and given a louder voice than the things the world values and holds high, I think there could be potential for much freedom from the chains we carry around under the weight of expectation of what an "ideal woman" is.
And maybe it will take us, sisters, to bear our souls and be real about our struggles in the area of Body Image & Comparison. Through our authenticity maybe the scales will fall from the men around us whose lust for worldly standards of beauty still creates a false lens through which they view and value women. O, how I wish they would stand and fight for our souls and realize the depth of shame so many of us feel in a world of comparison.
Check out this link:
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat4.asp?id=6909
That's all I got for today. Thanks for tuning in
